Therapy : The Journey into Personal History
by x-menobsessed26
Summary: In seeing his team recently more distressed than usual, Charles decides to take the initiative and put them through a therapy session in order to see exactly what has been plaguing at them. Rated M for a reason. ON HIATUS!
1. Chapter 1

**I have given this story a 'M' rating because of the extremely descriptive, dramatic content included. If you've read many stories on this site, then you probably know how dark these backgrounds can get. ****Please keep the rating in mind as I don't want to get flames from people who read the story expecting it to be 'K' or something and enjoy as much as you can. Thanks!**

**Please recommend who you would like to have 'go to therapy', and I'll do them next. Otherwise, I'm just going to do the order in which I feel like and you may have to wait quite a long time to get the character you want.**

**My final warning is about my record for updating. Anyone who has read any of my stories knows I don't update nearly as often as I probably should. I try, but I'm still in high school and I'm trying to keep my grades above failing. I'm sure you all can try to understand I won't be updating as often as many of the other stories you've read. If you want me to update more, give me reviews. That's how I write my stories. I update the ones that are getting the most reviews first in order to please other people.**

Charles sat at his desk, dreading the coming of the morning. Unfortunately, time wasn't under his control and he couldn't keep away the inevitable forever.

Unknown to most of the staff and students, Gabrielle Haller wasn't his only love interest over the years. No, after Gabrielle had come Amelia Voght.

If he had loved Gabrielle, then he had adored Amelia. Not even her being adored in his eyes had been enough to keep her around. Charles had never been there for her, and though he loved her and she loved him, she needed someone who could be involved in their lives. His paralysis had become a problem, but not because of the paralysis itself. That had never mattered to Amelia. No, Charles had withdrawn himself even more from the world after the accident. Amelia had filed for a divorce that had been rather long in coming.

Now, over ten years later, Charles asked his ex-wife to come back to the Xavier Institute for help. Amelia was a psychiatrist and therapist. Charles had found that his team of X-men had been become more and more distant and depressed. He needed help and Amelia was the first person he could think to turn to.

He stared at the clock for another hour before he heard a soft knock on his office door. He croaked a short, "Come in."

She looked almost exactly as she had the ten years+ prior with her red hair at shoulder length and perfectly tailor skirt suit, only with a few minor laugh lines to show any age, "Hello Charles."

"Good morning Amelia," Charles wheeled toward her. "We're going to be conducting this in a spare office."

She nodded and followed him where she saw everything she would need was already here, "I guess you weren't kidding when you said you would have everything I could need already here."

"No, I was perfectly serious," he caught her hand as she walked by. "Amelia...have you...thought...about us?"

"Yes, but not enough to want to put myself through that hell again. This is a favor to you that I expect you will repay if I am ever in need of it," Amelia said, yanking her hand free.

The older man nodded and wheeled himself out of the room. He still loved her as much as she still loved him, but there was too much time between their broken hearts for repair. Amelia shook her head and turned her doctor mode on. It was almost time to begin with the first patient.

**Like I said up top, please leave me a review with who you would like to see go through this therapy first, otherwise the default will be Scott Summers / Cyclops, and a little note on whether you like the idea or the story thus far. Thank you!**


	2. Scott Summers pt 1

**No reviews last chapter for suggestions, but I got a favorite. Awesome! Please keep them coming guys (and girls)!**

Scott walked down to the office he had always thought was empty and abandoned as long as he had lived at the Institute. Apparently, it wasn't given it was filled with all kinds of things he had seen in the television shows of the offices of shrinks. It wasn't as if he held anything against people who wanted to be therapists, but he felt that they had no right to attempt to pry into his brain. Those were his thoughts and memories, and they didn't need to be shared with another being.

"Come in, Mr. Summers," an older woman said from where she was seated at her desk.

As Scott walked over to the therapy couch, the woman walked over to a chair where she was going to question him. He sat on it and faced her as she stared at her clipboard that had a stack of papers along with a yellow notepad with no doubt in his mind that the packet was solely about him. Eventually she looked up at him, "What would you like to talk about first?"

"What would you like to have me talk about?"

She smiled. It was a move worthy of her, turning the question around, "I've seen your bio, Mr. Summers. You have nothing to fear."

"I'm not afraid and you can call me Scott."

"Alright Scott. I see you've been all over the world, and not just as an X-man. You were born in Alaska and moved to Hawaii then to an orphanage in Nebraska and finally here to New York. That's quite a lot of moving in thirteen years," Amelia noted. "How do you feel about travel?"

Scott shrugged, "I have no personal qualms about traveling. If I go somewhere, then I go."

"What if you were forced to, by either the circumstances or a person?"

"Then I'd take that in stride. Go with the flow and focus on fixing the future."

Amelia leaned back in her chair, "These sound like textbook answers, Scott. Almost like you've prepared them. Almost like you've had them prepared for some time. Is there any reason why that may be the case?"

_Yes._ "No, not that I can recall."

"I see. My career is psychotherapy. I love it and have studied it as often as possible. Is there anything specific that you would like to study?"

Scott shook his head, "No, as long as I can always live here."

"Nothing seems to be wrong with you."

His ears perked up, "Does that mean I can go?"

"Oh no, Mr. Summers. That just means that you have a good shield. Do you know something about people who refuse to open up? Not only do they become a time bomb, but the longer their keeping that shield up, the more it's cracking. You want to talk about it, but you know the minute you do, you won't be able to stop. It scares you," Amelia said, crossing her legs the opposite way that they were.

"I'm not afraid, I can promise you that. I just don't like telling people everything about myself," Scott shrugged as he laid back on the couch.

"Yes, but that's not as good of an action as you may think. Does Jean know anything about your past, other than a select bit of the necessary information you had to tell her regarding your parents and brother?"

Scott's stayed silent, hoping that in the silence she would move on to a new question. The silence began to suffocate him as she refused to fill it with her voice. A pressure began to build in his chest that needed to be relieved until he couldn't stand it anymore.

Amelia looked at the clearly conflicted young man, "Scott...I know you want me to leave you alone, but I can't. If you talk to me, you can go."

He stayed silent for a few more moments before the fuse blew, "Okay, okay, I've had a bad life, but does that mean that everyone else has to know exactly what has happened to me too? I mean, I'm trying to forget it as much as I can, but when you people keep bringing it up, it gets pretty goddamn difficult! I don't want to remember the things that have happened! I don't even want to exist if these memories refuse to leave me alone! Do you know how easy that would be? Just to pull the plug on my life?"

Amelia looked completely calm, liek she had done this a million times, which to the best of his knowledge, she had, "Have you ever thought that it may be easier to deal with if you actually talked about it?"

"How is that possible? I'm going to be telling everyone how much of a goddamn freak I am! They don't need someone like me around! Hell, if they knew what had happened to me, they would probably cast me out as an infection!" Scott sat up and pulled at his hair, looking very much like the maniac he felt like in that moment.

Amelia knew he wasn't crazy. Not even close. He was scared and he was angry. Scott was very emotionally normal, "Scott, if you tell someone about it, it may help you to get passed it easier. What makes it impossible?"

Tears filled his eyes, but they refused to be shed, "I. Don't. Know! I can't think! I don't even know where to start!"

"That's why I am here. I'm here to help you get through this. Why don't we start with different emotions? Would that be alright?"

Scott nodded and she began, "I don't want you to tell me any specifics unless you're absolutely sure you want to share them. I'm going to ask you some emotions and you're going to tell me 'yes' or 'no'. You could even nod or shake your head if you want. Got it?"

Scott nodded again, "Alright. Do you feel much guilt about your past? Did something happen to you or did you do something that makes you feel guilty about being with people you are now?"

"Yes."

"Is it a lot of guilt, a little guilt, or you're not really sure how much?"

"Um...more than a lot, but..."

"You're not filled with it. I understand. Do you ever feel angry about someone, something, or even the you from your past?"

"Yes."

"Is it a lot, a little, or not really sure?"

"A lot."

Amelia kept scribbling down his answers, "Do you ever feel sad?"

"Yes."

"How much?"

"A lot."

"Scared?"

"Yes and a little."

"Is there anything happy in your past?"

"Yes."

"When did the happiness start and stop? It could be, and probably is, more than once."

Scott thought about it, "I was happy until my parents died. Then it stopped. Then I was happy went Xavier adopted me again. Now I'm not again."

"Is that because of this conversation or recent events in your life?"

"A little of both."

"I see," Amelia looked at him. "Were you not ever happy at the orphanage?"

"No. Definitely not."

"Do you mind if I ask why?"

Scott shook his head, "I don't mind if you ask, but don't expect an answer."

"Only fair, I suppose. How about trust? Do you trust many people?" Amelia looked back down at her notepad, which would quickly be on the second page.

Scott narrowed his eyes, "Depends on which level of trust you're talking about? I trust when people earn it and prove themselves worthy of it."

"Can you name a few that _have_ earned it?"

He sighed in annoyance, "Charles, Jean, Ororo, Logan, Hank, and Rogue are some of the highest. I also hold a high regard for Kurt, Kitty, Bobby, Sam, Rahne, Forge, and Alex."

"Why is Charles on that list?"

"If you're going to go through every person I've just named and ask me why I trust them, you can forget it. I'm not going to answer," Scott grumbled, crossing his arms, resembling very much an upset little boy.

"Fine. Then I ask you, and I expect an answer, why don't you trust me?"

"What have you done to earn my trust?" Scott asked. "I don't know you or where you come from. You've been tearing apart my life and judging me since I walked in the door."

Amelia laughed, "Oh Scott. You are certainly an interesting young man. For the record, I don't trust you yet for one of the same reasons you've just listed for me. I don't know you or where you come from, except from what I've read in a file. I would also like to note that it is our human nature to judge, but I block it out for business purposes. You on the other hand have been judging me since you saw me at the desk."

"What does you not trusting me have to do with anything?"

"I'm meerly proving a point. Another point I would like to make is, you've said you don't trust me because you don't know where I come from, but do you know where half of the people, if not all of them, truly come from?" Amelia pointed her pen at him. "Do you truly know them as well as you think you do? My guess would be no, but I guess I'll see later today after I get done with their examinations."

"That doesn't have anything to do with them and my trust!"

"Then why do you trust them?"

"They saved my life!"

There was a long pause in which Scott clamped his mouth shut and his eyes widened. He hadn't meant to say that! Damn her! Amelia just smiled and sat back, "Would you like to just start talking now or would you like me to mess with your mind some more?"

Scott thought about it for a moment, "What do you want to know?"

"Start before your parent's demise."

"I don't know what to explain about it, as the hit I took to my head in the incident made me forget over half of my childhood. I just know it was a good one, filled with laughs and hugs. My parents were good people."

"What about after the accident?"

Scott took a deep breath, "I found out I had been in a coma for about a year. They told me my brother had died along with my parents. I was sent to an orphanage in Nebraska."

"Did you care to look for your brother?"

"Of course I cared whether he was still alive, and half the time I did, but I wasn't in any position to find out."

Amelia looked up at Scott from her pages of notes, "What about at the orphanage?"

He stayed silent for a few moments, but knew she would eventually draw it out of him, "What about it?"

"Simply speaking, what happened to make you hate to remember it?"

Scott shuttered at the memories as he opened his mouth for reveal.

* * *

_[flashback!]_

Scott had been living at Saint Andrew's orphanage in a good sized city in Nebraska for almost four months. The other children were either wimpy or bullies. Scott tried to stay out of their way as much as humanly possible. Apparently, it wasn't his lucky day.

Every other small, wimpy child was hiding in their rooms, most under the covers, to avoid having yet another run in with the bullies, but Scott decided he wanted to go outside. He walked down the stairs and into the lobby, not listening for the loud laughs of the older boys.

Being nine, Scott didn't have much recognition as a strong child, which he wasn't, and he didn't have seniority on his side against fourteen year olds. The worst part still was how corrupt the entire town was.

Police turned a blind eye to violence and crime all over the city. It didn't matter the crime, as well as you paid up for it...as a silence bribe, and that's only if you "get caught". That was usually only when the particular cop was in need of a little easy cash. Most criminals just carried a few hundreds in their back pocket in order to easily pay them off without a fuss.

Scott started to walk down the sidewalk, outside the orphanage, not knowing he was being followed by Jeremy Mane, one of the meanest sixteen year olds anyone could ever imagine. He never did drugs himself, but many in his gang did. He never drank, but many in his gang did. Much like his gang, he was buff.

It was dusk out, probably not the best time to be heading outside, but Scott didn't care. He had wanted to go for a walk. A choice he regretted making the moment he was pulled into a dark alley. A gun was pointed at his face by Jeremy who demanded Scott 'strip for him'.

When Scott asked what he meant, he was answered with a sharp blow to the ribs with the older boy's strong fist. He cocked the gun and told him to get on with it. Scott did.

When he was standing completely naked in the now dark of the early night, Jeremy told Scott, "If you move at all, I will kill you. You know no one in this town would help you if you happened to get away, and you know no one would miss you. Make it easy on yourself, and just go with it."

Before Scott could even register what was happening, Jeremy's baggy khaki's were down at his ankles, and Jeremy had begun to...rape him.

It made Scott want to puke for weeks after, but after that night he had become the designated fuck boy, the personal prostitute, for Jeremy and his high ranks. When he wasn't being forced to have sex with the other boys, he was beaten to a pulp and left to heal all alone. It was what they told him he was alive for.

He was a nothing, and nothings served the everythings.

* * *

_[back in the present]_

Tears streamed down Scott's face. Though he hadn't gone into much detail about the acts themselves and how much it had hurt him, the tone conveyed everything that mattered. Sobs wanted to escape, but Scott refused, keeping them trapped painfully within his throat.

Amelia just stared at the young man in his inner struggle. She couldn't believe that Charles really didn't know these things about his students, let alone his favorite. God forbid the rest of them have stories just as bad if not worse than this, and this was only Scott at the orphanage. Nothing about near present day.

Amelia's heart ached for the young man as a sob finally tore free of his entrapment. The one brought more and seemed to be a chain of cries. As much as she hated to see people in pain, it was always worth it when they were happy again in the end.

Once most of his cries had subsided, which wasn't by any means a short process, Amelia tipped his chin, which had been nearly buried in his knees, up to meet her face, "Scott...would you like to continue? You'll have to come back later if you stop, but we don't have to do all of this now."

Scott shook his head and continued with more horror stories of his time at the orphanage. When he had finally told every story his memory could remember, he looked up at her with an adoration that didn't belong to her rather than her ex-husband.

"He saved me. When Charles came to the orphange, he refused anyone else but me. Of course, he knew what I was, as I had been forced to be blind by closing my eyes for a year due to the emergence of my powers, but he still wouldn't leave even as the lady who ran the place told him about what a horrible person I was," Scott practically cooed in adoration.

"What happened then?"

"Charles held up his hand, said he didn't care one bit about her judgements about me and that he prefered to make them for himself, and demanded to see me. It only took a few minutes and he adopted me, ready to move me to New York with him," tears filled Scott's eyes again, not that she could see through the shades. "He really cared about me. The first person to give a damn since my parents had died."

"Sounds like you owe him a lot."

"Yes, I do, and I think you're right. A break is starting to sound pretty good about now," Scott stood abruptly, startling her a bit.

Amelia stood also, "What don't you want to discuss with me, Scott?"

"I'm sure you'll coax it out of me when I return."

"Scott," Amelia's warning tone stopping him as he opened the door. "You know the deal. You're not supposed to discuss anything about what we talked about, my techniques, or make any judgements or opinions about me nor the session to anyone until this whole "therapy thing" is over with. Got it?"

He gave her a mock salute with a fake smile, "Aye, aye Captain Voght!"

"Doctor Voght, Scott. Don't forget it."

**Obviously, we're going to be coming back to Scott later, but not before we get Ororo in next (thanks for the suggestion!). I promise I'll do Charles, but he's going to be the very last one, resulting in a nice...confrontation between him and his ex-wife.**

**Please leave a review and let me know who else you would like to see done ASAP and what you think their pasts may hold. Reviews make my day! (unless they're flames, but that's an obvious standard)**


	3. Ororo Munroe pt 1

**I'm so sorry about how long this took and I hope there's still someone out there willing to read this. Besides, the next update will probably take a long time as well. XD I completely forgot about this story to be honest. Anyway, here's Ororo.**

**FYI, in case it hasn't been clear, there are going to be things that will happen in the coming chapters you may not agree with or like, but please don't judge the entire story based on one character's feelings or memories.**

Amelia walked out into the hallway after Scott, who looked like he had recently been crying, and looked at Ororo, who had been waiting outside to check up on him. She smiled at the older woman, "Would you like to go next?"

A jolt of fear ran down her spine, but she threw up a practised mask and smiled at her, "Whenever you're ready."

Amelia stepped back and gestured to her that she was clearly ready then. Cursing herself for loving the students as much as she did, enough to get herself into places like this, she walked into the room and gracefully sat on the couch, waiting in silence.

Amelia pulled the filled sheets of notebook paper off of the notepad and put them into Scott's file. When she put his file back in the cabinet, she pulled another one out, which Ororo was sure had her name printed on it. The doctor sat down in her own plush chair and opened the file, "Your history is...interesting."

"Hmm, which part?"

Amelia laughed, "Your entire past. All of you come from such interesting places, it's a wonder that Charles just thought of doing this now."

"Is Scott okay?" she couldn't help but ask.

"He'll be fine. We didn't nearly get through everything we wanted to, but he'll be back later. Probably for the best considering. Why are you so concerned for him?"

Ororo stiffened. Was this one of her mind games? "I'd be concerned for any of the students. It looked like he was crying and it takes a lot to get him to show emotion. I was just worried."

Amelia twirled her pen around in her fingers, "It's amazing. No matter how many people I talk to, the masks are always different. It could be slight or it could be something I haven't seen before. You live in your mask so fully, it's definitely something I haven't seen. I haven't ever seen a woman as young as yourself live so fully as the maternal figure."

"I just know how many of them could use a true parent."

Amelia laughed again, this time in astonishment, "Do all of you people sit around late at night and prepare your responses or are you just really good on the fly?"

Ororo thought it best to stay silent.

"Tell me about your childhood."

"What about it?"

"How much do you remember about your parents?"

Ororo sighed, "I can barely remember what they looked like and not much else. What I mostly remember is...how they died."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"I don't see how I have much of a choice," she laid back on the couch to make herself more comfortable and began. "My parents were killed in a house fire that destroyed everything we owned. My sister had been at school, but I had been at home with them. I was trapped beneath the rubble for days. When they finally got me out, no one could understand how I'd survived. My sister and I were sent to a local orphanage, where we were raised and sent off to school. She became a nurse and I, a teacher. Eventually, I met Charles and he invited me to join his already established X-men

Amelia thought for a moment and then looked into her blue eyes, "That's interesting."

"Yes, and I'm blessed that it didn't end up much worse than it could have."

"Oh, but I think it already has," she dropped the hammer. "First you fail to keep your nephew, Evan, safe, which I'm sure your sister can't think too well of you for. Your ignorance has almost gotten the team killed on more than one occasion. You failed to keep the Hungan from capturing you and him having your powers could have easily hurt the team, but then again you were captured by Apocalypse and once again almost killed the team that was sent to help you. How does it feel knowing you're doing nothing but hurting the team?"

Ororo shot up from where she was sitting into a standing position, her eyes glowing white and the air crackling with the amount of electricity she was commanding, "How dare you? You know nothing!"

"Then tell me what is so different from what I've already said."

Tears gathered in her white orbs, but she refused to let them fall, "Evan made his decisions by himself. Vivian understood that no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't control him."

"You can't even control yourself. How could you ever hope to control another being?"

The tears began to fall like the raindrops hitting the ground outside, "None of that was my fault. The Hungan was a powerful man whom I met on a visit to one of the villages I used to teach at there! There was no way I could have expected his attack. As for Apocalypse, no one could have singularly beat him, even though I tried! There was no way I could have ever fought him off from controling me as one of his Horsemen. I was just lucky we trained those kids enough to be able to."

"So, in reality, it is your fault."

"I-I-I," she collapsed into a heap on the floor, a boom of thunder sounding from overhead. "I don't know. Yes! YES! It's my fault! I should have been protecting them, not attacking them!"

Amelia let the woman cry herself out for a moment and then handed her a tissue, "It seems Scott isn't the only one with pent up emotions."

Storm laughed without humor, "With everything we've been through, I wonder if we still qualify as sane."

"Define 'sane'."

"Good point."

Amelia stood and helped the other woman to her feet, "Why don't you take a break? We'll come back to you later. You know the rules. Don't converse with anyone about anything that has happened in here and make sure you keep your mental shields up from those telepaths. That doesn't mean put your mask back on, though."

"Point taken. Thank you Doctor Voght."

"I'll see you later, Ms. Munroe."

**Alright. There goes the next update. I'm not as happy with this story as I was in the beginning, but I plan to see it through to the end. This story is still listed as being on hiatus because I have other stories that need finishing, but I'll get it up...within a month. XD**

**Next up is Kurt. Please review and tell me who you would like to see after him!**


End file.
